stop the music

in the midst of a great song playing, have you ever wanted to shout, "STOP THE MUSIC" and make an announcement. well......it's time for me to do that.

in the midst of life, and work, and friendships and ministry, God has made it clear to me that it is time to 'stop the music'. now, to some that might seem like a bad thing. but take a deep breath and get ready. remember all the 'change' i've been sensing. well, i took several steps to orchestrate that change. okay, not real steps, but i did enough investigating to make an informed decision. i talked with others about how it would impact my life and theirs. and surprisingly - okay, not surprising to God, but surprising to me - He has spoken loud and clear. and in the midst of all of my plans, God said "stop the music" and He reminded me about His plan. he used several people to do that - in unrelated circumstances. and He has given me peace, which i believe only comes from Him.

you see, i thought i had a problem that i needed to fix. and the reality is, i do have a problem and i will be working toward solutions of that issue. however, i had gotten all wrapped up in fixing my problem and in trying to be a team player, that i had forgotten what God had called me to do over 10 years ago. i had become so fixated on the current music and dance, that i have been ignoring the reason He called me out in the first place and the desire He placed on my heart. i don't think i've been disobedient, but i had swerved off the course He laid out for me years ago. in the rush of the dancefloor i had turned a deaf ear to what He wanted for me.

so, after much prayer, putting pencil to paper, crunching numbers, reviewing schedules and trying to figure it all out. it comes back to this. THERE IS PEACE WHEN YOU WALK IN STEP WITH GOD! now isn't that a mind-blowing statement? duh!

after some toying around with the idea for some time now, a few weeks ago i took steps to see if i could return to school. and within a few days of that inquiry, i got the approval. and then, as i looked for affirmation and confirmation from those around me - the support has been there - which speaks to me of a church that wants to honor what God is doing and give me the time to make that investment. today i made the call and enrolled in classes for the spring.

now if you're sitting there reading this and thinking - what a great thing! she's got it made! you can simply put the notion that this is an easy thing right out of your mind. actually, some would think that i'm out of my mind for doing this. but you should know that i don't know how i'm going to pay for it - but God knows. i don't know how i'm going to manage work/ministry and school - but God knows. i can't imagine the crisis and issues that will come up during this time that will fight for my mind, emotion and energy - but God knows. the flip side - i have no idea what i will learn about God through my studies - but God knows. i can't begin to imagine the people i will encounter in class - but God knows. i can't even begin to fathom how having this degree will make a difference - but God knows. you see, i firmly believe that walking in faith doesn't make you stupid because you don't know what is going to happen and you blindly follow and change your life on a whim. walking in faith means that i've given myself over to God and i'm trusting completely, entirely and fully on Him to guide me and sustain me through the next 18 months. life will be different - it must. there will be sacrifices in time, money and sleep - it must happen.

my prayer is this - that i won't take this opportunity for granted. i want to draw closer to my Lord and Savior, not just have greater knowledge of Him. i don't want to waste time - like i've done in the past. i don't want to take people for granted - i want to be in relationship with others who share a heart for God's kingdom.

how am i feeling now that i've gotten your attention (the question is really, how am i feeling now that God has gotten MY attention). well, i'm a little scared, a little excited and a little anxious. but overall - there is peace and that is not just a feeling. that is a reality.

will i be a little crazy in the future? yes. will i have some incredible things to share? yes. will i be challenged to move out of my comfort zone? yes. do i have any idea what is about to happen? no.

okay, now back to the music and dancing for the Lord!