and the hits keep coming

I had just gotten a little comfortable again in the routine of life. I don't claim to understand everything about life. I realize that I'm not commanded to understand, but to respond. I'm not worn out or overly worried about the crazines of it all. And then ... it happens. A friend tells me their incredible (bad) news that leaves me speechless! Not sure how to react. Not able to formulate words. Feelings and emotions abound.

I struggle with the reality of a hurting friend who is facing the difficulties of life. A shot came their way and they happen to be right in the line of fire. Was it just chance? Were they placed there on purpose? Were they given any warning to get out of the way? This is definitely a life-changing situation for them and all those around them, including me.

My friend seemed just a little frazzled by the news. You see, God has filled my life with people of amazing faith. Their first thoughts were about God at work and the kingdom. Not about how this affects their future. Not about how devasting this act will be to their family. They remained centered on God.

Is this what a life of faith really looks like?
Anger. Hurt. Confusion. Question. Sadness.

Is this God at work?
Change. Forgiveness. Hope. Love. Kingdom.

Am I supposed to offer words of comfort or congratulations? Is this oppresion or freedom? Is this punishment or reward? Is the glass half-empty or half-full? Is it a win-win for both people involved? Is it a win-lose situation? Maybe it's a lose-lose and neither party knows it. Perspective has a lot to do with it.

Again, I rest in the fact that God neither slumbers nor sleeps. He is not taken by surprise at this bit of news. He is walking in the midst of all people involved, offering His comfort. He is not shocked by one person's decision and how it impacts others. He cares about each person.

Question: What is the right response when we see others that we love hurt?

in the midst of life

Here in the activities of everyday life, I often get overwhelmed. As the saying goes, "So much to do - so little time." But, what is it that I actually want to be doing in the midst of my life? I'm not really certain.

Somedays I feel completely confident that I am fulfilling my life's call. Other days, I feel completely incompetent to attempt anything that comes my way.

There are times when I am so overwhelmed by attending to the needs of others, that I I neglect my own needs. And yet, there are also times when I am so selfish, that I only do what I want to do.

Most importantly, I ask the question, "Why does God have me here at this point in life?" I know it is really unimportant and somewhat impossible to know the exact answer to that question. But, it still begs to be asked. And I feel like I have been asking myself that question on a daily basis. I don't always understand what is happening around me. I don't always agree with what I'm being asked to do. And I don't always like what is going on with me. But I do rest in the complete and full knowledge that God knows the answer to the question. My job is to "be still and know that He is God." I've been called to walk with The One on a journey in which I have given Him permission to lead. I am to draw close to Him and listen to His voice. I know I'm not listening for the ultimate answer, but I am listening so that I am in step with Him. While I might want to run at times (away from the madness of life), I don't ever want to turn away so as not to hear His voice. His direction gives me comfort in the midst of my life.

In the midst of your life, where does God have you?

dream

Today someone at work asked me, "What's your dream?" I thought he was being funny. But he asked again, "What have you been dreaming about?" And then I realized he was serious. A million different thoughts raced through my head - all at the same time. I thought my head was going to explode. All of a sudden the list of little things that I wish I could do on a day off/weekend popped through my brain ....stay in my pajamas, have a massage, read a great book, drink an incredibly good cup of coffee, watching all the episodes/seasons of my favorite TV show, meet a friend for lunch, take a long walk, see a good movie, cook a meal for someone, go shopping and actually buy something, make stuff for fun, drive and see the wildflowers (and others). Then, all the "I really wish I could do this" stuff swam by.....European vacation, days at famous museums, volunteer to do something that would change someone's life, go sailing for days, visit historical sites in the US, learn a new language and then go somewhere I could actually use it, taking cooking classes with real French chefs, and various others I'm not ready to mention.

As he asked that question, I could feel myself squirm. What if I say it out loud and then I never actually do it? What a loser I'd be! What if I don't say it and then he tells me he knows someone who will make my dreams come true? What a loser I'd be! What if I don't really have any "good" dreams?

Why is this so hard for me? He simply wanted a short response and I was dumbfounded in how to make a single utterance. Is it that I don't dream? Maybe I've been too busy doing stuff lately that I haven't allowed my mind and heart to be open. I've got to get a life!

So, how did I answer his question? I finally bit the bullet and decided to risk it all. I shared with him about my dreams for our business offices.....redecorating and the such. I shared about how I really want to be impacting people's lives in such meaningful ways through every little thing we do. I told him how I've felt God telling/teaching me more about prayer every day. I told him that I really want to be caring for people and walking with them through their life. Once the can was open - it all started coming out. I was able to share so many things that I hear God telling me about family, life, school, work.

No, he didn't give me a million dollars to make it happen. I wasn't being filmed for some new crazy reality TV show. But, I realized that I'm pretty comfortable in life - and that's not bad. I know I'm not walking in faith like I should so that God can plant big-sized dreams in me. I've got to learn to lean more on Him, rather than my own understanding of situations. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it's the Lord purpose that prevails.

Question: What are your dreams?

Shot Down

How are you supposed to respond when you see someone get shot down? Not literally shot - but shot down in the sense of when something bad happens in life. I know how I might respond if I received some devasting news. But what can you do when you see it taking place in the life of a friend.

This week a dear friend of mine received some life changing information. While my response was ... well, I really didn't have words to speak. I didn't know what questions to ask. I was confused. I was angry. I wondered if this could ever happen to me. As for my friend, their response was not what I expected at all. You see, they have such an incredible perspective on what God is doing in their life. So, while I can imagine there was some initial (and probably some residual) confusion and anger about the situation - they continue to live in the reality that God is in control. And I know they have never questioned that!

Now, what am I supposed to do as one who walks along side of my friend during this time? I want to blame others. I want to shout out about injustice. I was to seek revenge (okay, not really - but I am upset). How right is it of me to respond to the situation in one way, when my friend approaches it in a completely different manner. Am I to follow their example and sit idly by? Or, do I go against their wishes and demand action? I want to honor and respect their decision about how to respond. But it just isn't right!

My question to you - what will be your response be when devastating news comes your way?

My question to myself - Am I truly living a life of faith...step by step?

friends

Aren't friends great? What kind of people would we be if we lived in isolation? Thank you God for friends. The kind of relationship that begins, centers and ends with You.

Tonight I had the most enjoyable time sharing dinner and family experiences with some of my friends. They listen to me, they encourage me, they laugh with me, they genuinely care about me and they let me be a part of their family - all of this with no expectations, no excuses, no worries and no pretenses.

I am not the kind of person who usually has a large circle of friends. I am more the kind of person who usually has a few really deep friendships at one time. I know at times in my life I've been more of the taker in relatioships. At other times I have been much of the giver in friendships. But, my prayer lately has been that I will be a friend that regularly - and willingly - gives and receives. It is a delicate balance. Why? Because we all want someone to run to and listen to us. We want someone who will care about us and be concerned for us. We want to help others, but often our self-centeredness and the "look and listen to how important I am" mentality overruns any chance we have at a balanced friendship.

I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. But, it is always good to be in the company of others who will regularly remind me that I am not perfect. And the greatest thing about it...they don't expect it. I believe they honestly pray for me to discover God's unique design for my life. And for that, I am eternally grateful to our Father for bringing us together.

With great hesistation I now say (okay, this is starting to sound like one of the "pass it along to five friends" e-mails), "Treasure the friends God has brought into your life. Be real. Be honest. Be who God has made you. Be available. Be ready. Listen to them. And be a real friend to them."

Blessings to you and your friends.

welcome to my world

It is no chance that you have arrived in my world. Welcome. Yes, welcome to my world. Make yourself at home. Take off your shoes. Get a beverage of your choice. Put your feet up. Sit back and relax. You simply need to rest. Spend time here just breathing in your environment. I want to hear what's swirling around in that cage of yours. Intrigue my mind. Pour out your heart. Just let it out, sister-friend (or brother-friend, no disrespect).

I hope that you will enjoy your stay. If not, well...I haven't really made arrangements for that. But, I'm sure we'll work through it. Enjoy.